I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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