This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
