Got a toothbrush?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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