I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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