Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
