im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
