he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
