Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize