My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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