I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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