yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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