Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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