U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Still dying that you shit outside
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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