Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
