I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
