the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
