Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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