He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
