508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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