The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
