Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We need to get me chipped asap
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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