And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
