you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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