When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
