why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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