Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
