So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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