you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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