They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
