Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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