I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
