I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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