Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize