Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
