Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
sarcasm needs its own font
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
