I am puke
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
