You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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