we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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