I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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