You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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