this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize