He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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