the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
