chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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