Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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