I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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