i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
