don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
