the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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