Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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