Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Plan B is the new Plan A
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
