I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
