tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
