Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
