I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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