Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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