You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
