So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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